Moonbase

WHY DO SOME NEWBIE EMAIL USERS TYPE IN ALL CAPS, ANYWAY? I COULD UNDERSTAND, BACK IN THE DAY WHEN COMPUTERS DIDN’T ALWAYS HAVE LOWER-CASE CHARACTERS. BUT THAT’S NOT THE CASE NOW. YET PEOPLE STILL DO IT.

IMITATION OF TELEGRAMS QUERY

UNLIKELY STOP

DOES IT SOMEHOW SEEM MECHANICAL AND “COMPUTERY” (AND THEREBY APPROPRIATE TO THE MEDIUM)? I DON’T KNOW. IS IT FOR EMPHASIS AND PRESUMED CLARITY?

FORMALITY?

HELLO, MY NAME IS BARRISTER ARGUS BABOON WITH THE AMBROSE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE. I SINCERELY WRITE TO YOU, A TRUSTED INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS BEEN RECOMMENDED TO ME BY MUTUAL BUSINESS ASSOCIATES. I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACCOUNTS OF PRESIDENTE MARCOS REGINALDES, THE VERY PRESIDENT OF FOXES, PRIOR TO HIS UNFORTUNATE DEATH ON AUGUST OF THIS YEAR IN A TRAGIC CABEZA ACCIDENT. AT THIS TIME HIS DOMICILIARY ACCOUNT CONTAINED THE SUM OF APPROXIMATELY L 3,000,000,000 (THREE BILLION AMBROSE LEAVES).

THE THING IS, WHEN UNCONNECTED PEOPLE FREQUENTLY DO THE SAME THING IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS, THERE MUST BE SOME FUNDAMENTAL UNDERLYING REASONS.

PYRAMIDS: TALL STUFF IS IMPRESSIVE. EASIEST WAY TO MAKE SOMETHING TALL IS TO MAKE A BIG PILE. SHOES: OUCHY THINGS ON GROUND. HENCE, TIE STUFF TO BOTTOMS OF FEET. ALCOHOL: IN ANAEROBIC ENVIRONMENTS, YEAST METABOLIZE SUGARS TO PRODUCE ETHANOL AND CARBON DIOXIDE. HUMANS KIND OF LIKE THIS ETHANOL STUFF (SO DO BEARS). ALL HAIL YEAST PEE!

BUT TYPING IN ALL CAPS? I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON THERE.

ARE YOU A FORMER CAPS-TYPER? WHY DID YOU DO IT? I’D BE INTERESTED IN HEARING FROM YOU…