Moonbase

A recent study of hand impressions indicates a large proportion of paleolithic cave art was not the product of mature, patient shamans, but rather horny teenage males. Given its content, perhaps that shouldn’t be so surprising.

Most of the paintings are of large game, such as bison, horse, ibex, and red deer. Cave bears and lions, which would have inspired fear, were also depicted. Many of the hunting scenes, although sloppily done compared to the fine, finished work of an adult artist back then, are full of graphic detail. “Lots of the wild animals in the caves have spears in them and blood coming out of their mouths and everything that a hunter would be familiar with,” Guthrie said. “These were the Ferraris and football games of their time. They painted what was on their minds.”

And as with modern teenagers, the ancients had more on their minds than just cars and sports. “In the graffiti, there is a lot of below-the-belt-art,” Guthrie said. “The people in the art are predominantly women, and not a single one has any clothes on.” But these weren’t just any women, they were Pleistocene women adorned with ludicrously huge breasts and hips. The walls were also decorated with graphic depictions of genitalia. “These were not the type of paintings that make it into the coffee table art books,” Guthrie said.

It occurs to me that this isn’t too different from the things one invariably finds scrawled in the margins of battle-scarred secondary school textbooks. People don’t change much, really.

(Hat Tip: Anarchaia)